Envy the Muffin Top

There are constant ridicules and shade thrown at us fat people in todays society. But, if you step back for just a second, and analyze the situation, we really should be more fat friendly. I mean, there are more of us than skinny people anyway right? So I have compiled my list of the top ten reasons that we all should be more fat positive.

1. Ever heard the phrase, "gonna go down with that sinking ship" before? Well, my number reason to be fat friendlys is because ... fat floats. While the skinnys are being thrown under water by sea waves, trying to latch on to a floatation device, us chunky people are chillin. If rose had some more weight on her bones, Jack would have survived that Titanic drop.

2. Say that its mid winter, the second you step out of the house or car you begin to freeze. Well, news flash, fat people are insulated. Which means while the skinnys are chugging hot cocoa and hovering over the heater, us big boned folk are perfectly fine.

3. Ever fight a fat kid, run into a fat kid, attempt to wrestle a fat kid? Try it sometime. Run full speed at a man if generous pudge and tell me who is standing at the end. It's as if we were built with airbags. We are cushioned and padded for all of lifes obstacles. Just another reason to love the fat. Sumo wrestlers ! Don't push around a fat kid. They are stronger than they look.

4. Starving kids in India. Well, that sucks. You know what doesn't suck? THIS ISN'T INDIA. Us biggie small look alikes know how to eat. We didn't get this way by sniffing our feelings did we? So the next times you hear someone talking about the starving kids in India, just think, if they put you in India, you will outlive them all and never go hungry. We would be great at Survivor. Why do you think they never cast the plus sized?

5. Ever have someone sit in your lap and have a boney ass? Fat people never have that problem. Never will we ever sit somwhere and not have our own personal seat cushion. So while the skinnys have their feet and ass asleep, us chubs can enjoy our seats with zero issue.

6. Shopping because you gained weight? Look it. When a skinny gained 10 lbs, you notice right away. When is chunky yet funky people gain weight, you cant tell. Going from an 18 to a 20 for a woman is not noticable at all. Their muffin top gets a little bigger, but who knows.

7. You never have to explain a stain in your clothing. If you are big and have a stain on your shirt, everyone will assume that it is food anyway, so why bother worrying?

8. Men love boobs. So much so that chunky men get to grow and cherrish their own set of tatas. Available for viewing purposes whenever they want, and they don't have to buy it dinner beforehand.

9. Walking through a mall or store, people get out of your way. When you are skinny, the expect you to move out of their way. Chunky has the right of way !

And finally, number 10.

10. You are bigger, and therefore more visually prominent. Meaning, robbers will think twice before taking on the pudge, dogs and babies love the chunk, you can make fun of skinny people and accuse them of anorexia, it gives you one extra thing to bitch about, you are nicer to hug, you have the option to sit in anyone to win, and you will actually have both boobs and a but.

That's all I got

Enjoy !

FATTY FATTY TWO BY FOUR

(: FATTY FATTY TWO BY FOUR :)

Fatty, Fatty two-by four,

can't get through the bathroom door.

So he did it on the floor, 

licked it up and did some more.

Fatty and skinny went to bed.

Fatty rolled over and skinny was dead.

Okay, okay. So, this blog is not about making fun of the plump people. I refer to it as chunky yet funky, however, this blog is to celebrate the big people in mainstream social society in present day. Bigger people receive constant ridicule in society. It is a topic that causes school and social bullying, forces outcasts, and severely damages the self esteem and confidence of all ages. 

While writing this blog, something strange hit me. I could come up with many beautiful and plus sized woman, however, I could not come up with any men. I would have loved to include Seth Rogan, or Jonah Hill. However, they are both skinny now. So I have to ask. Does mainstream media and especially in the tv and movie industry directly affect the male sex more than the woman? Woman seem to be more comfortable with their curves and with their bodies. While men, once successful, do what they need to in order to shed the weight, as if they are trying to change the person that they are to make it in the industry. There are very few plus sized men on television or mainstream media today, and hell, even our President is a little guy. Food for thought.

 

I have gathered a list of a few big people, who pioneer through society as a chunky yet funky icon. Hope you enjoy.

Plus sized is sexy. Hope you enjoy :)

Monique : I thought is was hysterical in Precious. Hysterical in a good way. 

Gabby Sidiby, the star of Precious, is also an up and coming plus sized actress in Hollywood.

Jordin Sparks : The girl from American Idol. She also sang "No Air" with Chris Brown. If their friendship was anything like his with Rhianna, we now know that she wrote the song after suffocation from Breezy. Who knew?

Oprah : I mean, its fucking Oprah. Need I say more? 

Raven-Symone : Oh wait ... She gained an eating disorder and lost quite a bit of weight. I think she looks amazing, even if she lost the curves.

Queen Latifa : I am in love with this woman. Her character in the musical Chicago gave me life. Incredible.

Jennifer Hudson : Even though she sounded terrible in her Whitney Houston tribute on the Grammy's (personal opinion), I believe that she looked much better before the Weight Watchers.

MELISSA MCCARTHY. HAVE YOU WATCHED THE MOVIE BRIDESMAIDS YET? I MEAN, COME ON. WHAT ABOUT MIKE AND MOLLY? SHE IS A BIG GIRL, AND SHE IS AMAZINGGGGGGLY HYSTERICAL.

ADELE : .A.D.E.L.E. SHE HAS TAKEN HEARTBROKEN SOUL TO A NEW LEVEL. SHE HAS PLACED HERSELF ON THE CHARTS OF THE GREATEST ALBUMS AND ARTISTS OF ALL TIME. BIG GIRL, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.

LISA LAMPANELLI : She was recently fired on the Celebrity Apprentice, but this queen of mean is a big girl with a big mouth, and she is one funny bitch.

American Farerra : Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants cast her as the big girl. But somehow those jeans fit her too. Even though she was the only one in that movie with a badonk, she was still a full figured and stunningly gorgeous Latino woman. Ugly Betty.

Khloe Kardashian : The only one that has real meat on her bones, and she is my favorite sister.

AMBER MUTHAFUKIN RILEY : Mercedes Jones on Glee. This woman has my heart.

 

 

Chunky Yet Funky

So, for my first blog of all time, I figured I would try to tackle something very close to me, something meaningful, and something that I will most likely be dealing with for the rest of my life. That issue is my addiction to food.

I have never been one of the skinny kids. I have always had issues with my weight, and seeing the scale jump back and forth is nothing new to me. It is not the worst addiction to have, but it is an addiction none the less. I can't seem to put food down. I could eat Dominos every day of the week, I can smash some chick filet or taco bell at any time, and please do not leave tasty cakes or pecan swirls in front of me or I go into vacuum mode, and away they go. I have tried weight loss supplements, diet pills, dieting, and nothing works. The more I eat healthy, the more I want junk food. It is an issue. Now don't get me wrong, I have no issue being the weight and size that I am, hence my blog title of chunky yet funky. Those who know me, know that I am very active, most of the time I am in a great mood, and my weight does not keep me from doing anything. However, I am not healthy hefty, I am headed down a bad lifestyle large. I truly cannot put food down. I feel the more that I say it, the more pathetic it sounds, but none the less, its still an issue.

I joined the gym in June of last year. Was going almost every day. In three months I had gone from 248 to 215. I stopped going to the gym in November, I felt amazing. High energy as always, smaller clothes, my motivation was great, and I finally felt like I had my shit in order. Now, I am sitting here now in April, and I have made my way back to 242. I have no drive to work out, nor do I have the drive to eat a healthier diet. I have no idea how to get it back. I have no motivational mindset to get my life together on this subject and it sucks. One day I will get up early, head out to the gym and hope for a revival, to get back to what I now know that I can do, but even sitting here right now, all I can think about is ice cream. I am not even hungry, and all I can think about is food.

It may not be the worst addiction, as I said before, but an addiction none the less. This issue has been on my mind quite often lately, and I couldn't think of a more appropriate topic to use as my first official blog. I hope you enjoy my venting, and stay tuned. I am sure now that I have finished one blog, there will be many more to come.

.M.I.C.H.A.E.L.