There are constant ridicules and shade thrown at us fat people in todays society. But, if you step back for just a second, and analyze the situation, we really should be more fat friendly. I mean, there are more of us than skinny people anyway right? So I have compiled my list of the top ten reasons that we all should be more fat positive.
1. Ever heard the phrase, "gonna go down with that sinking ship" before? Well, my number reason to be fat friendlys is because ... fat floats. While the skinnys are being thrown under water by sea waves, trying to latch on to a floatation device, us chunky people are chillin. If rose had some more weight on her bones, Jack would have survived that Titanic drop.
2. Say that its mid winter, the second you step out of the house or car you begin to freeze. Well, news flash, fat people are insulated. Which means while the skinnys are chugging hot cocoa and hovering over the heater, us big boned folk are perfectly fine.
3. Ever fight a fat kid, run into a fat kid, attempt to wrestle a fat kid? Try it sometime. Run full speed at a man if generous pudge and tell me who is standing at the end. It's as if we were built with airbags. We are cushioned and padded for all of lifes obstacles. Just another reason to love the fat. Sumo wrestlers ! Don't push around a fat kid. They are stronger than they look.
4. Starving kids in India. Well, that sucks. You know what doesn't suck? THIS ISN'T INDIA. Us biggie small look alikes know how to eat. We didn't get this way by sniffing our feelings did we? So the next times you hear someone talking about the starving kids in India, just think, if they put you in India, you will outlive them all and never go hungry. We would be great at Survivor. Why do you think they never cast the plus sized?
5. Ever have someone sit in your lap and have a boney ass? Fat people never have that problem. Never will we ever sit somwhere and not have our own personal seat cushion. So while the skinnys have their feet and ass asleep, us chubs can enjoy our seats with zero issue.
6. Shopping because you gained weight? Look it. When a skinny gained 10 lbs, you notice right away. When is chunky yet funky people gain weight, you cant tell. Going from an 18 to a 20 for a woman is not noticable at all. Their muffin top gets a little bigger, but who knows.
7. You never have to explain a stain in your clothing. If you are big and have a stain on your shirt, everyone will assume that it is food anyway, so why bother worrying?
8. Men love boobs. So much so that chunky men get to grow and cherrish their own set of tatas. Available for viewing purposes whenever they want, and they don't have to buy it dinner beforehand.
9. Walking through a mall or store, people get out of your way. When you are skinny, the expect you to move out of their way. Chunky has the right of way !
And finally, number 10.
10. You are bigger, and therefore more visually prominent. Meaning, robbers will think twice before taking on the pudge, dogs and babies love the chunk, you can make fun of skinny people and accuse them of anorexia, it gives you one extra thing to bitch about, you are nicer to hug, you have the option to sit in anyone to win, and you will actually have both boobs and a but.
That's all I got
Enjoy !
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